(For new readers, please read this post first - or this won't make any sense at all)
Ring, Ring.
Waitress: "Hello?"
Rich: "Hi, um, I'm not sure if you remember, but last week a guy at the bar bribed you to play , uh, grab-ass with his friend..." (she cuts me off and doesn't let me explain that I'm not Maurizio, but I'm the friend)
W: "Oh, yeah, of course I remember you. Hey thanks for calling. I wasn't sure you would. "
OK, she thinks I'm Maurizio (I'm pretty sure) but what the heck let's go for it.
R: "Great, Yeah, Hey I'm glad you remember me. I was wondering if you'd like to meet me for a cup of coffee or something?"
W: "Sure." (Damn that Maurizio... I never get dates this easy) "That was really funny. I'll never forget the look on your friend's face." (she giggles) "He was so shocked."
R: (I better 'fess up now) "Oh, yeah, well, um, I'm, um, the friend, actually. I'm not Maurizio. I'm the guy with the shocked look on his face."
W: "Oh"
(Awkward silence)
R: "Are you still interested in getting together?"
W: "Um, uh, Yeah, sure." (pause, she's lying - but being polite) "Can Maurizio come, too?" (Hmmm, let's make it a 3-some)
R: "No" (whoops, that's the wrong thing to say - but I want you for myself) "I mean yes - yes, sure. Um, but there is something you should know..."
W: "What's that?"
R: "He's gay. He's a really great guy. He's a lot of fun to hang out with. But he's gay."
W: "Oh, shit. Why are all the good ones gay? I need to get out of this city."
(and what am I? Chopped liver?)
W: "You're not gay, are you?"
R: "Oh, no, no... We're just friends. I like women."
(more awkward silence)'
R: "You really don't want to see me, do you?"
W: "Well..."
R: "Hey, I understand."
W: "That Maurizio is really cute."
R: "Yeah, he gets that a lot."
W: "Are you sure he's..."
R: "Yeah. He really is gay. I mean really."
W: "That's too bad"
R: "I tell you what, we'll stop by the bar again. Me and Maurizio. We'll be sure and get your table. What days do you work?"
She told me when she's working. I told her when to expect us.
Looks like me and Maurizio need to go drinking again. We have a date with a Waitress.
9 comments:
Hmmm... you tried. Oh well, next! :)
Hey Rich, maybe it's a sign that you and I need to go out for a drink! ;-)
Well how good looking is Maurizio...??? haha
JenBun, Yup. Seems wrong somehow. I've never been able to succeed with Maurizio's cast-offs.
Violet - let's have a drink. I'll bring Maurizio. And, yeah, he really is that good looking.
Don't knock yourself, kid. It took balls to call up and ask.
IMO, she's a dork for passing up the chance. :)
Thanks, Arch. But I was an ordinary guy who walked into her bar and got drunk. I'd have been a little worried if she had said yes.
I'm not that pretty. I do dress well - no offense to you straight guys, but you don't know squat about fashion. I am meticulous about my grooming - you should see Rich's blond mop of a hair-do. I also work out. That all makes a difference.
But guys (or girls) do not fall all over themselves to get to me.
Hm......Maybe take Rich on a shopping trip? Not that there is really anything wrong with the way he dresses, but kind of geared towards what appeals to the female eye. (I'm thinking a nice suit with a teal tie, with that 'mop of blonde hair', personally).
Kind of like a resume that is targeted towards a specific industry? That make any sense or am I going on one of my famous babbling sprees again? :)
Arch, Yes! That's what I'm talking about. You need to know what looks good on you, but you also need to know what looks good to your partner (or could-be partner). My current boyfriend goes crazy for the conservative look. So what did I go out and get? A Ralph Lauren Harris Tweed sports jacket with suede elbow patches and a pair of wingtip shoes. It ain't rocket science, folks.
My previous boyfriend went for the flamboyant (or flaming): a pink "Don Johnson" linen jacket over a low cut skin tight spandex animal print shirt. And I pulled it off (not everyone can).
Anyway, the resume analogy is perfect. But I'm rambling now.
Rich doesn't go shopping. He doesn't have the patience. I've tried. For him, it's mostly levis and long sleeved crazy shirts.
Hrm... I suggested the tie because that's what I tend to go for. A man in a well cut suit and tie is sight to behold! :P
I've seen pics of my FH (future husband) in a tux and it turned me into a babbling idiot, he looked so good in it. He's more of the cargo pants, hiking boots, and t-shirts type, but I think he looks handsome all the time, but the tux thing turns me into a slobbering, babbling idiot. :)
Rich strikes me as a low key kind of guy...maybe a really nice polo and slacks? Not to say that he can't pull off a suit, but if he's not comfortable in it, then it will show.
Make sense or am I babbling again? :)
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