I'm pissed

Don't know why. I'm just in a foul mood.

Had dinner with Heidi tonight. I went over to her cottage and cooked for her. Brought all the ingredients and a good bottle of wine. Prepped everything, cooked everything, washed all the dishes (no dishwasher), put them away. And dammit if she isn't ragging on me for how I'm washing the dishes. Seriously, after I bring food and wine, cook, clean, and put away, I expect "Thanks, Rich". Even if you didn't like it - just a "thanks" for the effort. I'd like an after dinner blow job - but OK - you can't always get what you want. Seriously ladies - a guy comes over, cooks, cleans, put everything away. Doesn't that deserve a thanks?

Who complains about how someone washes their dishes! WTF! I mean if the food was edible (it was!) and the dishes get clean (they did!) and they are put back where they belong (they were!) a modicum of gratitude is in order. I left her kitchen cleaner than when I found it.

"Oh, I don't wash my dishes that way." OK, fine! You wash them any way you want! Buh bye. That's what I should have said. I should have flung a plate across the room and stormed out. I didn't. I washed them the way she wanted. Fuckin' wuss.

After dinner I left.

I told her I had an early day tomorrow. And I just left.

Deep breath.

And in other news. Heidi is going up to Ashland, Oregon this weekend. Going to some Shakespeare plays. Leaving Thursday. Going with a few couples and a few strays.

Deep breath.

"Maybe you can come with next year." She said. It's an annual event for her. What? They ran out of hotel rooms? I can't sleep in the car, in a tent, on the sidewalk? Stay home, Rich, I'm going out to play with my friends.

Deep breath.

Maybe - more that just maybe - I'm pissed at Lynn. She never called. Broken heart. Knows that I was the better man. Knows that I would not hurt her. Knows I've got the bigger dick. Knows she had to fake all her orgasms with Tim. And now she's alone. But did not call.

Did not beg forgiveness.

Did not want to reconnect.

Did not even want to know how I was.

Why do I want her?

Maybe I'm mad at myself. For wanting her. For needing her. For not being able to learn. For getting involved with Heidi.

I'm just pissed.

Perhaps I should not blunk drog. I think I'll have a another martini. Yeah, that'll make the pain go away.

Did you call her?

"Who?" I feigned ignorance. I don't know why.

Heidi scoffed on the other end of the phone. "Lynn."

"No." I said as steadily as I could.

"Are you going to?"

"I don't know."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"I don't particularly care to be someone's second choice." My brain was clearly in charge today.

"Hmm."

"And, she treated me pretty badly. I don't need that." I wish I could believe what I was saying.

"You're staring to sound smart."

No, I just told my heart to shut the f**k up.

Catch-up post #3

Here is what happened on the big trip to Big Sur.

Catch-up post #2

Here's how Heidi and I agreed to go on the road trip.

I know this post sounds unbelievable and soap-opera-ish - but it's all true. I'm a computer guy - there's no way I could make this stuff up.

Catch-up post

Here's how I ended up with a new car.

There is a God

Fate.

Kismet.

Bachi.

Karma.

Time wounds all heels.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Call it what you like. It is real. There is a power that binds the universe together. And you will reap what you sew.

I never thought it would happen. But it did. If you are still reading, Tim and Lynn are no longer a couple. I'm really sorry that I care. But I do. I really do.

It turns out that Lynn caught Tim at work kissing another woman. I mean really kissing her.

I first heard about it from Heidi. Yeah, I'm still with Heidi - and that's why I stopped blogging. I was embarrassed about what happened with her. I'll fill you in, but, yeah, we slept together. Not my most shining moment.

Anyway, I was over at Heidi's house and she was being really apprehensive about something. She was pacing and kneading her hands - acting really unusual. I asked her what was wrong. She started sobbing. She told me that Tim and Lynn had broken up.

OK. Before we slept together I came clean with her. I told her everything about me and Lynn. Yes, *everything*. I told her I was still in love with Lynn. She wanted me anyway. And against my better judgment (OK I'll post what happened) I slept with her anyway. Yeah, I suck.

Anyway she told me that the gossip at work was that Lynn caught Tim kissing another girl in the cafeteria, and she confronted him. As I understand it, he asked, "what, you can't share me?" (an obvious reference to the ugliness). She's OK to ask her lovers to share her. But she's not willing to live on a two way street.

I had lunch with Linda who gave me more details. Seems that Lynn is heartbroken. (Yeah! is that wrong?) She told Linda about the fact that Tim wanted Lynn to share him. Lynn said "No way!" Linda said that she wanted to punch her when she heard that. For new readers, go to the start of the blog and read.

Payback's a bitch. What goes around comes around - and all those other cliches.

Seriously. I have not been this happy in a long time. I know it's wrong. So wrong. But I can't help it. I'm so happy and I want to tell the world!!!