“Oh, Rich, you look like shit”
I’m still cranky and unhappy with the breakup. Yes, I know – it’s too soon to see her. But after this weekend, I’m feeling a bit better. Steve is a good friend, and he really helps me get a good perspective on things.
“You need to take care of yourself.’ She said with genuine concern.
“You look beautiful, too.” I said with only a little sarcasm.
“Sorry. You’re just looking so thin. Your cheeks are getting hollow.” She reached up to touch my face – the effect was electric. I resigned myself to another month of clinical depression. For her touch it was worth it (man, am I sick or what?) Except for my weekend with Helen, I have not really been eating well. My new clothes – from my recent makeover - don’t even fit anymore. I need a belt for the pants. I was thin before – now I’m just plain boney. I am 6 foot 1 and now weight in at 131 lbs. - it ain't pretty. I kinda look like a heroin addict.
“Tim still treating you well?”
“Rich, you don’t wanna go there.” OK, I’ll take that as an enthusiastic yes.
“Sorry.” I stared at the menu, not reading. I swear, I’m not going to see her again until I am over her. Sadly, that may be forever.
I gave it my best effort at being cheerful. We made idle conversation about work, the weather, mutual friends, etc. She told me about a party at Tom and Liz’s last weekend that she and Tim went to – Hmmm they seem to have forgotten to invite me. I guess in the break up we divide the friends, too. Doesn’t matter - I had fun this weekend, too.
“I went up to
“Yeah? What’d you do?”
“Well, we ended up dancing at this gay bar.”
She looked shocked, and once again concerned “I made you turn gay? Oh, Rich, I’m so sorry.” It took me a little too long to realize that she was joking.
“No,” I protested loudly. “We took our own girls there.”
“Women.”
“The guys at the bar didn’t seem to care. And heck, we didn’t have to worry about anyone putting the moves on our girls, uh, women.” I corrected myself before she did. I explained the evening to her. I told her how we committed gross and disgusting heterosexual acts right in front of them, like dancing together, holding hands, and kissing. She found the whole thing rather amusing. She was probably most amused that Steve ended up at a gay bar – she’s never met him, but I have regaled her with stories about him over the years. So she knows that he’s a bit of a homophobe.
“So how does it end?” I asked her.
“How does what end?”
“You, your mid-life crisis? I mean, you flipped over the game board of life – as it were. You dumped Jim, dumped me. Now you’re with Tim. Where do you end up?”
“I don’t know. I’m not planning it. Life happens, I live it.”
“So if you get over it all, and you’re still with Tim – it’s happily ever after?”
“Maybe him, maybe the next one. Who knows. Maybe we’ll get back together.” She smiled. Just what I need, some false hope. “Rich, I have to do this for me. I’m going through a selfish phase. Let’s talk about something else.”
I managed to finish my meal. Perhaps I’m getting better. God, this is so painful. OK enough whining.
“Oh, cheer up Rich.”
The total babe you work with? Hell, yes! “Uhm, yeah, I think so. She works with you and Tim right?”
“Yeah. You interviewed with her?”
“Uh yeah, I think so, that’s right.” Of course I remember – that’s the only part of the interview I remembered. I wasn’t sure why I was feigning ignorance. At an intellectual level it seemed silly.
“So Tim told me that she voted to have you hired. It seems that she wanted to interview you sitting on your lap.”
“I’m guessing that Tim tried to get you hired.”
“Yeah.”
I signed and looked down.
Maybe I should give Heidi a call. She’s a real cutie.
5 comments:
You already know what I'm going to say so should I say it anyway??? Call ANYONE but Lynn. And when she gets out of her "selfish phase"? Run like hell...in the opposite direction...and do not look back. She is showing you something here. Please SEE it for what it is. Why you need to do this to yourself, I have no idea. Maybe you like drama and pain. If that's the case, I will read along and support your need to be emo. No judgement. Just "go team Rich!" I will add one more comment before I become non judgemental. She's mean and heartless. If she was ugly would you put up with this shit? No matter what she looks like now, one day she will be mean and OLD and not so hot. So, you will have that going for you. And one more thing, you are not earning her respect by showing up and doing this crazy stuff with her. So, now I am off to "not gonna tell you anything else land". Go team Rich!
Petunia, yeah - I knew it was stupid. Love messes up your (well, my) judgment.
Maybe it is really time for you to find someone to help you sort this out. This is not what people do to each other when they love each other.
Sorry...I meant Go Team Rich.
You're such a pimp, Rich!
Petunia, you're probably right. But we can be sure that she doesn't love me. But I still love her. Why - I can't figure out. I just do. Dammit.
Val, I'm a pimp? I don't even know what that means. I hope you mean that in a good way.
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