Jason has a Girlfriend

I was shocked, shocked I tell you! I came home from work last night to a dark house. Which is not all that unusual. As often as not my housemates are off to bed before I arrive home. I opened the door to the kitchen, got a beer out of the fridge and walked toward the living room. I was planning on channel surfing a bit before heading off to bed. But as I walked into the living room I was faced with a posterior. A woman’s posterior. A woman’s naked posterior. The front half of the woman was under a large blanket which was spread out on the floor. The top half of my housemate, Jason, was poking out the far side of the blanket. They were engaged in some, ah, amorous activity. Use your imagination.

I was shocked. Not at seeing the naked bottom half of a woman. I actually kinda liked that – it was rather shapely. I was shocked that Jason had gotten so far with a girl. It’s not that Jason is a bad guy or anything. But you need to understand, this is a house inhabited by three programmers (OK, nerds). So far, since I moved in about a year ago, there has been only one girlfriend that any of us had and I only had her for a few weeks. Way to go Jason. Judging from what little I saw of her, she was quite a catch.

I quietly retreated to my bedroom.

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This morning I got up early, as has been my habit and went paddling on the bay. When I got home to take a shower before work I met the top half of Amanda – which was every bit as attractive as the bottom half. She was in the dining room reading the paper. I knew that Jason had been going out with her for a while, but I didn’t know they were so serious (OK, perhaps they’re not serious – but their relationship has seriously advanced). I made a pot of coffee and poured us both a cup.

We chatted about nothing much in particular. I learned that she was living in an apartment in Sunnyvale, she likes country western music, and she is the receptionist at a computer company in Cupertino (no, not the really famous one). She has two cats named Ginger and Mary Anne. That was all of her life story that I got before Jason came out of his bedroom all dressed up and (sniff sniff) smelling good – in a masculine sort of way. They greeted each other with the silliest grins – OK, at some level I’m jealous - and then they headed off for work.

I want a girlfriend, too. Not just any girlfriend – I want my Lynn back. Damn it.