Overreaction?

“Rich, you know that I’m a pretty live and let live kinda guy. Anything between two, or three, or even four consenting adults is usually fine with me. But this isn’t one of your better ideas. You’re both attractive, hurt, and lonely people who will be alone with plenty of alcohol and no adult supervision. Unless your plan – while you are sober and carefully considering the consequences – is to end up in bed with her, I’d think twice about this whole dinner thing.” Maurizio the Italian love god was lecturing me - on matters of the heart no less. We were at the Tied House, a brew pub in Mountain View. Maurizio usually does not venture this far south – so I know that he is really serious about this.

It’s good to have friends who look out for you.

“You’re acting like I have no judgment or self control.”

“Rich, look what just happened with Sarah. You said it yourself; you are weak and stupid when it comes to women.”

“You see. This is why blogs should be anonymous. I never would have told you that I slept with Sarah again.”

“No?”

“No, I learned a long time ago not to kiss and tell.”

“That’s usually a pretty good policy. Maybe you shouldn’t kiss and blog."

"Anyway," he continued "this Kristen girl doesn’t seem like someone that you want to be messing with. She’s on the rebound, and you do not want to be the rebound guy with a VP that you work with. Do you remember how unpleasant a rebound break-up can be?”

OK, that’s a really good argument – a good enough reason that Maurizio has won this debate. He’s right, I should not do it. But it’s no fun letting him win so easily, besides we still have more beer. “How do you know she even has any interest in me?”

“Rich, if your blog posts are even half way accurate, then she’s interested. You're her type. You cook, you clean, you’re polite, you’re presentable at corporate functions, you can tell the difference between a cabernet and zinfandel. Don't sell yourself short, Rich. Put on 20 pounds, get a tan - they can spray that on nowadays - and you would be some serious arm candy. Just what every Silicon Valley digital diva needs. You’d make a great house pet.”

Ow. Maurizio was making more sense that usual tonight. I thought about it. I could change my blog name to “Richard, kept man”. I mentally tried out a potential post – “Today I drove my Ferrari up to the San Francisco yacht club and sailed my 40 foot boat on the bay. I took pity on all the folks who had jobs and needed to work for a living – they all missed a wonderful day. Sailing really does work up an appetite, so I had a kobe beef steak sandwich and half a bottle of the best cabernet at the yacht club, as always, money was no object… “ Hey, it could happen. I’ve got to say, worse things have happened to me in my life.

I still felt like debating with Maurizio. “You’re assuming that she’s as dumb as I am.” Did I really say that? Out loud? Sometimes don't you wish you could suck those words right back in? When I heard myself I realized that I wasn’t going to win this point. “She may be smarter than to have an affair with a junior coworker. She is a VP and an officer of the company. She would be exposing herself and the company to the liability of a sexual harassment lawsuit. She didn’t get where she is by making bad choices.”

“You really think you could get her on sexual harassment? I don’t think so.” He laughed at me, or the absurdity of it.

“It takes two to tango. You are presuming that she is both interested and willing. I’m not so sure. She had me at her house the night before last after one too many drinks, and she was a perfect gentleman – well, you know what I mean.” OK, the beer was starting to kick in.

“Why take the chance?” He was right. Having dinner alone with her, at her house would be a bad idea.

It could only end in tragedy.