Heidi Update

I’ve been obsessively trying to get back into Heidi’s good graces. Extravagant floral arrangements delivered to her office. Out to her favorite restaurants. Even a drinking session with her Dad – it seems to please her that I get along with him. His approval wins me some brownie points somehow. However, I can’t stand her mother, but that’s a different story. And I don't think its a problem.

I’m not sure why I am so afraid of losing her. It’s just irrational. I fear that subconsciously I think losing her might hurt just as much as losing Lynn. Maybe if I lose her I won’t have a reason not to go back to Lynn – and that thought both thrills and terrifies me.

Anyway, on Friday night we went out for a ridiculously expensive dinner in San Francisco. We ended the night at her place, where I was invited to spend the night, but just for cuddling purposes.

She seems to be forgiving me.