On Saturday afternoon I grabbed my kayak and headed for the bay (San Francisco Bay). The bay is not a great place for kayaking – it smells and it's choppy when there is any wind and there is a fierce current when the tides go in and out. I didn't have a paddling partner. One really should not kayak alone, but I was not really worried about my life. If I die, so what? There was a low tide at about 4:00 – I paddled from 3:30 to about 5:30. If I got exhausted, the tide would carry me toward shore. I went nearly 16 kilometers in that time. An average speed of 8.5 KPH – which is pretty good on my slow boat (necky zoar sport), especially since I haven’t been out in a while. Really, I over did it. I was paddling angry. Nothing like working the frustrations out on the water.Exhausting myself, I was able to get a little bit of sleep Saturday night – but mostly I tossed and turned and thought about what was going on in a small apartment in
On Sunday I woke up with every muscle in my upper body aching. I went into the office and poured myself into my work. It’s another good way to dull the pain without abusing my body. There were several people there the whole time I was. I went home late, about 8:00 p.m.
I called my mom that evening. I had been ignoring the family for a while – too much going on in my life.
It turns out – and I am not making this up, life is worse than fiction – my dog died last week. Well, not any pet that I have now, my folks bought him when I was in high school. For a while he was my dog. OK, he was old, in his late teens. Somehow in all this misery that has been heaped upon me, this put me over. I went out to the deck and sat and cried my eyes out in the cold. I skipped dinner.
I am living in hell – worse, in a bad country western song. I lost my j
ob, my girl, my best friend, my drinking buddy. And my dog died.
One more thing – the warranty on my truck just expired.
8 comments:
"lost my job, my girl, my best friend, my drinking buddy, and my dog."
You need to lose your horse to really be C&W.
You got a better job, go get a better girl.
I have survived two horrendously hurtful break ups. You will find the light at the end of the tunnel but first it's gonna hurt like hell. Then one day you'll wonder what is missing and then you will realized you didn't cry that day or you forgot to think about her or you spontaneously laughed about something. I remember thinking people should not be able to live through this kind of thing! But we do and we get to a new place and then we are okay again.
I agree with Anon, i couldn't say it better myself. So I found these quotes for you.
“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”
—unknown
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”
—M. Kathleen Casey
Never regret. If it’s good, it’s wonderful. If it’s bad, it’s experience.
-Victoria Holt
I have no regrets in my life. I think that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person.
-Rita Mero
When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
-Alexander Graham Bell
Dude, kayaking solo!?!? You most important piece of safety equipment is YOUR BUDDY.
Don't leave shore with it.
Anon, If only getting a girl was as easy as landing a job in a sucky economy.
Petunia, Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Violet, great quotes. Thanks.
Dude, I got all the gear - PFD, cell phone in a dry bag, strobe, bomb-proof eskimo roll, paddle float, bailer, and ELT. Everything but the buddy. Huh, kinda sums up my life.
Rich~
I lost my first ever cat this past Friday. She was 15 years of age and the fact that I am out on the road moving my mother to LV is the only thing keeping me from losing it.
You have both my sympathy and my empathy.
~ Arch
Arch, Thanks, sorry to hear about your cat. Travel safe.
I hated to read "If I die, so what?"
It is NOT so what, Rich! SO many people care about you!!!
And I'm so, so sorry to read about your dog... :( You are dealing with a lot. But you are strong, and you will make it through.
Big hugs! You can email me anytime, if you ever want to...
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