I went for a physical yesterday. Yeah, you need to do that when you get old.
It turned out that I needed a tetanus shot. The nurse came to administer it. I took off my shirt. She put rubbing alcohol on my shoulder. Then she took the syringe and tried to pinch an inch or so of muscle on my shoulder to stab me. She couldn't grab the muscle. She told me "you need to relax your shoulder muscle."
"It is."
"Oh! Nice muscle tone." she raised her eyebrows.
In other medical related news, my LDL number is 168. Yup, that's dangerous - and I'm only 35. Anyway, my doctor has given me 3 months to clean up my diet and get the number down, or he's putting me on statins. He asked me if I regularly exercise, and then withdrew the question - he said I'm obviously getting a lot of exercise. I'm not fat, in fact he'd like to see me put on some weight. But he says I should not be eating so much saturated fat.
Well, sorry doc, I'm going to keep eating the fat. Give me drugs - I wanted to tell him to not bother with the 3 months. I'm not going to stop eating really good food. A daily dose of lipitor should keep my LDLs under 100, with very few side effects. And I get to keep eating bacon and hollandaise. This is a great country.
My doc says that in 5 years or so there should be a drug that will clean out all the plaque in the arteries. You'll take it once every 5 or 10 years and you'll have the arteries of an olympic athlete - even if you eat half a pound of bacon every morning. I can't wait.
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4 comments:
I think the way you think about food! I'd take the pills, too.
The new chapters of your soap are excellent! Time to head to TV. The old soaps are all getting canceled but reality TV is still booming business!
Life is to be savored and embraced - and not taken too seriously, you're not going to get out of it alive.
As for the reality show, I can see it now - "The Rich Life". A camera crew follows me around all day. With any luck it will need to be on cable, showtime does that edgy stuff.
Hopefully (famous last words), I'm done with the soap opera crap. I'm quite content to fall into a boring routine of a life with Lynn. My blog will suck, but I'll be happy.
Quote: I went for a physical yesterday. Yeah, you need to do that when you get old.
You are totally not that old. :)
IIRC, I am five years older than you. SO, ppppbbbttt! :P~
Please give us an update from the Christmas party!
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