Comfort food

The rejections are piling up. I can’t count the number of interviews I’ve been on. Eagerly telling the story of my life over and over again to bored hiring managers, who don’t even seem to want to be there. Asking, what I hope to be, probing questions about their business and company’s future. Friday I had four initial interviews. It’s grueling.

So yesterday I am cooked myself some real comfort food. For me, the ultimate comfort food is risotto. It is a real pain to cook well, but it is sooo worth it.

Paired with a really good Pinot Grigio it's really soul satisfying.

Now I’m ready for another week of rejections.

Risotto

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion
a couple cloves of garlic
½ teaspoon salt (a large pinch)
¼ cup good white wine
1 chicken breast, poached and cubed
1 cup broccoli florettes , raw chopped up small
6 cups chicken stock (I did homemade – makes the house smell sooo good)
1 cup medium grain rice
3 tablespoons butter
about 1/3 cup parmesan cheese, grated – from Italy – nothing from a green can!
1 or 2 teaspoons while truffle oil (optional, if you can get it)
¼ cup heavy cream (optional)
fresh ground pepper to taste

Bring the chicken stock to a simmer in a separate pot, do this before you start anything else. It can heat up while you prep the other ingredients. You’re going to add the stock to the rice during the cooking process, and it needs to be just under boiling.

With the stock heating up, prepare all your other ingredients. Once the cooking starts, you won’t have time for anything else. Chop up a small onion and a couple of cloves of garlic. Next cut up and cook anything that goes in the risotto – I like chicken and broccoli (use anything you like – I like no more than 2 or 3 additions – shrimp and asparagus is classic, as is a mix of mushrooms) I usually poach a chicken breast and cut it up in bite sized chunks and cut up broccoli into small florettes. The broccoli I leave raw, it will cook when you throw it in at the end. Grate a handful of parmesan cheese. Finally, measure out a cup of rice.

There’s a huge debate on what kind of rice. The traditional risotto is made from Arborio rice from Italy. I’ve tried it and I really like the results that I get from calrose rice better. This is a medium grain rice that you can get at Costco for less than a 50 cents per pound. Arborio will set you back $4-$6 per cup in most of the high end grocery stores in the bay area. In Italy you can buy Arborio rice for about 2 euros per kilo - $1.50 a pound – so the local stores are just ripping us off. Tyler Florence had a show on risotto on the food channel where he recommends carnaroli from Italy – I need to try that. You can get that from various places on the internet for about $2 a pound.

Oh, one last thing. Open a good chilled pinot grigio from Italy. Pour yourself a glass and start sipping. Make sure you save a ¼ cup or so to go in the risotto.

Now you’re ready to cook. Turn off the phones, accept no interruptions for next 30 minutes. Need to pee? Do it now – once you start, you can’t stop. I said it was good, I didn’t say it was easy.

First, sweat the onions and garlic in the olive oil and salt until they are soft and translucent. Keep the heat low, or the garlic will burn and get bitter. Here you can add some dry herbage that matches your accompaniments. If you have fresh herbs (and why wouldn’t you) then put them in near the end of the cooking process. Next put in the rice, and up the heat a bit. Stir constantly for about 2 or 3 minutes, until the rice gives off a nutty smell and starts to brown. What you’re trying to do is toast the grains of rice. They should soak up all the olive oil and it should start to get sticky. Next pour in a splash of the wine ¼ to ½ a cup. Stir until it’s absorbed.

Now it gets tedious. Put in ½ a cup or so of the hot stock and stir until it is completely absorbed. Repeat this until the rice is just almost cooked (you need to taste it to see, but it will be at least 20 minutes but not more than 30.) And, yes, you need to stand there and stir it constantly. Don’t stop stirring, even for a minute, not for anything. The rice will burn, cook unevenly, and it won’t come out creamy. The stirring rubs the starch off the rice and that makes the most creamy wonderful sauce.

After the rice is almost cooked (only way to tell is to taste), turn off the heat and throw in your accents. For me, this is poached chicken breast and broccoli. Throw in a knob of butter and put the top on the lid and let it sit for 5 minutes. Now you can throw in any herbs that are fresh, I like thyme. The rice will finish cooking and the residual heat will cook the small bits of broccoli perfectly.

After 5 minutes, add the parmesan cheese (and white truffle oil, if you have it) and stir. If you are feeling really decadent, add a bit of heavy cream – but it doesn’t really need it.

A little cracked pepper and a fresh grating of parmesan cheese is all it needs. Eat and enjoy with a good pinot grigio.

I love this stuff.

Damn, I miss rug burns

It's late, I've been drinking, perusing various blogs that I read.

I just read a post that reminded me of getting rug burns.

Damn, I miss rug burns.

I need to get to sleep.

(no visual on this post, you're welcome)

Confidence...

... worn well, makes the man.

I read that somewhere and it stuck with me.

When I go to an interview, I walk confidently into their office. I look squarely in the eyes of the manager I'm talking to. I give a firm, but not crushing handshake. I speak of my professional accomplishments with authority, but without arrogance. I have researched the company and I know where their weaknesses are, and I know how I can contribute. I ooze self assuredness and confidence.

But it's all an act.

Fact is, I'm scared shitless. Scared that I won't measure up. Scared of being judged. Scared of being rejected.

What I'm really afraid of is not getting a job, any job. I can live poor. It's not fun, but I can do it. And I know it's irrational, but I fear not being able to pay my rent, or buy food. Weird, huh?

But because of that, I throw everything I've got into every interview.

I walk out drained and spent. This is hard.

I wonder if I'll ever have confidence.

I see the other candidates, eager young faces, exuding confidence. Wanting to impress.

Walking out of an interview I caught a glimpse of a guy out of the corner of my eye. Shoulders square, head held high, walking with purpose and authority. And I was thinking, how - one day - I'll get it together like that guy. A second later, I realized it was my reflection in a wall of glass that I was seeing.

Damn, I'm good at faking it.

City of the Cats

On Wednesday I went for an interview over at Tim’s company in Campbell. Yesterday, Lynn had an interview there, too. One of us is a shoe in for the job, as they are a supplier to our old company. We talked with their support folks and engineers on the phone all the time. We both know their products pretty well. They know us pretty well. Networking is a great way to get a new job.

Last night I met Tim and Lynn at the Los Gatos Brewing company, along with Lynn’s friend and her friend's significant other.

Tim and Lynn arrived together - fresh from her interview. It was funny, when I saw them together I got a twinge of jealousy - something about the way they look, the way they move together. Isn't that sick? I mean, I don't have her (and probably never will) and I'm jealous of yet another guy who doesn't have her.

I arrived from another interview so I was dressed up. Tim arrived from work and was dressed down in an old leather jacket - he rides a motorcycle. I think we looked like total opposites. He has dark hair and skin and a stocky build. I’m tall and lanky with light hair and skin. We sat on opposite sides of Lynn in a booth and across from her friends.

The food and drink there were good, but a bit on the pricey side for us unemployed folks. Never-mind, I still have a big severance check – and unemployment should kick in soon.

A good dinner was had by all. Afterwards we took a walk through downtown Los Gatos. I overheard Lynn talking with her friend, she was showing off "her men." Her friend was impressed but laughed, she thought we were a real “Leather and Lace” pair – I guess that would make me the lace. Oh, well.

At the end of the evening, I walked Lynn to her car and kissed her goodnight. She headed back to her house in Milpitas.

Try, Try Again

I have done 9 job interviews in the past two weeks (yeah, I was interviewing before I even got fired). I have had 3 callbacks. I guess this is a numbers game. If I get enough initial interviews, I’ll get a some callbacks, and ultimately a few offers. I’m starting to get used to the rejection. There will be more rejections than not – so I’d better start getting used to it.

I had an extended set of interviews with Tim’s company in Campbell. I had been working with that company in my old job, so I knew a bunch of folks already.

I finally got the chance to meet Heidi. Heidi does phone support for their engineering department and she has an amazingly sexy voice. It is some kind of European accent that I can’t really identify. In some ways it seems Austrian or German and at other times it seems French. Either way she really makes it sound sexy – kind of like Kathleen Turner as Jessica in “Roger Rabbit” but more exotic. So I figured she would look like an East German weightlifter steroid experiment gone awry. It is unlikely that someone with a voice that sexy would actually look like Kathleen Turner (well, back in 1981 – see “Body Heat”).

Turns out, she's a knock-out. Well, OK, not perfect, very pretty but a little heavy set. But frankly – women readers pay attention – a little curvature on a woman is not a bad thing. Hollywood sets the image that heroin addict thin is a good thing – well it’s not. Not for me, anyway. Nor lots of other guys I know.

Also, no ring. Hmmm, I'm still noticing such things.

The Big Job Hunt

Well, it’s time to get serious about the job hunt. I have been out looking for a new job for about 2 months now - but I haven't been really serious about it. Nothing like getting your ass fired to provide real motivation.

I also need to file for my unemployment benefits. Might as well get paid to do nothing. Fortunately I can do this on-line, and don't have to drag my ass down to some depressing government office.

Resume writing has always been a challenge. I’ve got about 10 years of experience. I have 3 patents on semiconductor design. I have 6 published papers in peer reviewed conferences and technical journals. Bachelor's of Science in Electrical Engineering, Masters in Computer Science. So there's a lot to go on there.

I called a friend who is a head hunter (head huntress??) and arranged for a meeting tomorrow. She says that there are quite a few positions that she could get me interviews for. In a panic I started calling all the working folks I know, to see if there are any available jobs. I must have e-mailed out 40 resumes, posted on monster.com, and surfed the web for any thing that looked like a job opening.

Deep down, I feel like I should be taking a vacation – I could really use an extended vacation, but panic at the prospect of prolonged poverty has me hyper-actively hunting. I toy with the idea of going to work for the summer at California’s Great America – I could put it on my resume as research in queuing theory. I really should do this. It'd be fun, and I'd probably meet a lot of girls. But my insecurities won’t let me.

I called Lynn. She said that it was a somber and quiet day in the group. She wore black. She does seem a bit more distant since the hitting incident. I wish she would let me in a bit more. She is out looking for a new job as well.

There is an opening at one of our (well, now her) company’s suppliers. They are a mid-sized company in Campbell. She is on pretty good terms with a guy named Tim there. She gave me his number and I set up an interview for Wednesday. She's interviewing for the same job on Thursday. One of us should be a shoe in for the job. Either way, it looks like Tim should be able to cash in on a referral bonus (if they're offering one).